a cute boy talks to me and i flush bright red like i’m fucking 12. wtf. sometimes i think i can be callous and cold and completely emotionless. but i really think that its just my defense mechanism. i think the problem is that i feel too much. i feel so much of everything. so much beauty. so much sadness. so much fear. so much joy. if someone touches me i might disintegrate. so i try to disconnect and detach to protect myself. i want to be in control of my emotions, but i’m so transparent sometimes that i try to counteract it with disdain or apathy.